I just finished watching a recent movie depicting exorcisms and exorcists. I won’t mention the name for fear of spoiling the ending for people, but let’s just suffice it to say that pretty much all possession-based films end much the same way: with “the Devil” getting his ass handed to him by way of some lame, happy memory.
The Devil: He'll Get Inside You
Why does this irk me so much? It wouldn’t, if most of these films didn’t spend the first hour and twenty-seven minutes raving about the dangerous power of Satan, how he’s deceptive and destructive and inside yo’ head, foo! He can make you hallucinate, he can read your mind, see every dark secret, slam doors, vomit, swear, throw people around, set things on fire, rattle doors and windows, appear as a demonic wolf/dog/horse, make people kill others/themselves and sometimes even raze entire buildings to the ground. Wow!
Think about your mum standing in a ray of happy Spring sunshine however, and he’s totally fucked.
What the hell? (Literally)
What kind of pathetic tool is this Devil fellow meant to be? One second he’s raping innocents and bringing down thirteen different kinds of shit on everyone’s head, and the next second he’s being banished by rainbows and kisses. Give me Voldemort any day.